Questions About Furry Frames

February 27, 2008

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Q: Why fur covered frames?

A: In a twist on Mallory’s answer regarding why climb Everest one plausible answer is because they could be there. They are also generally safer than mountain climbing.

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Q: What color fur is good for frames?

A: Generally a solid color is pretty good. Spotted or stripped fur, like dalmation, tends to be a bit tricky unless it’s a pretty wide frame. Brownish fur is good for warmer colored rooms while the grayish fur above works pretty well with white walls and cooler colored walls. Black fur can sometimes work but probably best in rooms with a lot of direct sunlight, strong sources of illumination or task lighting. Steer clear of blues, greens and pinks otherwise the frame might not be taken seriously.

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Q: What length fur is best?

A: Short fur for small frames and long fur for big frames. A good rule of thumb is that fur length should be roughly 1/20th the width of the frame.

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Q: Is it OK to use real fur?

A: No. It’s the 21st century. On second thought though, it is the 21st century and the fur industry says fake fur can contribute to global warming. Bother.

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Q: Where can I get the cheapest, biggest frames to start from?

A: My favorite place is the as-is section of IKEA. Big frames with hugely awful scratches, nicks, gashes, burns, cracks, mysterious stains, and such can generally be snagged for a bargain. The above frame was four bucks. Be sure not to factor your time in or the other stuff you end up buying because you’re there to get a cheap frame for a project. So maybe this isn’t the best option unless you have good self-control. Of course if you have good self control you probably don’t need a fur covered frame. Fine just go to the thrift store.

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Q: But I already bought a cheap as-is frame before reading the rest of the previous answer and then realized it didn’t have any glass or plexi-glass. What should I do?

A: Buy a same-sized uber-cheap particle board stripe frame of the same size at the same stop and swap out the frame for the plexi-glass.

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Q: But you haven’t told me how to make a fur covered frame?

A: You’ll need fur, a sharp cutting implement and a hot-melt glue gun. Cut the fur to size and attach with glue. It’s really so easy it’s hard to make into into anything longer than a three sentence answer.

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Q: Is there any weird symbolism I should be aware of before I hang up my fur covered frame?

A: No (wink-wink nudge-nudge).

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Q: Are there any special cleaning considerations for fur frames?

A: I vacuum mine probably every six months to get the dust off.

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Q: Do fur frames make good gifts?

A: I don’t know. I’ve only heard rumors which I won’t be repeating here.

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Cursive (open the hymnal)

Bird & the Bee (la la la) “the pigs are eating popcorn selling tickets to the show”

Dressy Bessy (hey may)

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One Response to “Questions About Furry Frames”

  1. BARB Says:

    I ENJOYED MUCH.


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