Stencil of David Lesar

July 18, 2008


The CEO of Halliburton, David Lesar, has been based in Dubai for over a year. This move from Houston to Dubai was attributed to the need for Halliburton to grow its business in the “Eastern Hemisphere“. A couple years ago President George W. Bush in a state of the union stated that U.S. needs to “make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past. (Applause.)” Cherche le CEO.

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30 Responses to “Stencil of David Lesar”

  1. pfmagic Says:

    David Lesar is an expletive deleted of a man who deserves to have his expletive deleted sauteed and expletive deleted up his expletive deleted.

  2. boldlentil Says:

    pfm

    Your considerate use of bold deletions is appreciated. We don’t want sensitive readers to complain about expletive deleted commenters saying expletive deleted this and expletive deleted that. But the tone of your comment is noted.

    bl

  3. pfmagic Says:

    New stencil idea.
    Three words

    Karl

    Rove

    Mullet

  4. boldlentil Says:

    pfm

    Har!

    Let me mull the idea over…

    bl

  5. pfmagic Says:

    I’m waiting…

  6. pfmagic Says:

    …and I’m getting impatient…

  7. boldlentil Says:

    Where is the Karl Rove with a mullet stencil?

    Where is it indeed?

    First off have you ever done an image search for mullets?

    It’s disturbing.

    After a single pageful of mullets I felt queasy and had to slowly back away from the keyboard. It was too late – my vision had become blurred, the ringing in my ears became defeaning and I was overwhelmed with the smell of burning sytrofoam egg cartoons on a cold winter morning.

    This was supposed to be a simple stencil but no instead I had go and get mulletosis.

    Anyways after getting over the mulletosis by following a strict diet, an overpriced haircut and some music from the last five years I ended up buying a file for one dollar.

    It was the best single dollar purchase in a long long time.

    But what does this have to do with the Karl Rove with mullet stencil? It’s simple, I started filing stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. I actually stopped using my xacto knife for over a week.

    And then once I started stenciling again I had to get the Aspasia stencil done. Ditto for the leopard skull stencil.

    Which is to say I am still thinking up some more excuses for not getting the Rove-Mullet stencil done but I am running out of them. Expect one soon…

    bl

  8. pfmagic Says:

    Expect what? More excuses? Of course I expect more excuses!

  9. boldlentil Says:

    Excuses? You expect excuses? Sounds like a challenge to me.

    OK try this one on – all our x-acto blades are dull. Dangerously dull. So we are struggling to meet the backlog of stencil demands (inlcuding but not limited to the Karl Rove with a mullet stencil) but with the draconian budget reductions in the stenciling department of Bold Lentil Ltd. and bitter escalating prank attacks on the marketing department, borrowing some new blades is not an option. To that end we have embarked on a ‘novel’ fund raising route of selling home-made eucalyptus acron peanut butter online. Peeling and mashing all those acorns is taking us a lot of time.

    Doesn’t fit?

    OK try this excuse on for size – the mulleted readers and writers of Bold Lentil have warned us that if we go forward with the Karl Rove with mullet stencil the blog will inexplicably implode in an irony-free, low-carb, negative-cash-flow flash of creative excess. Look the Martians are still really pissed about the whole Karl Rove + Mars Attacks = Karl Attacks stencil – so much so in fact they have stolen our coveted comment spam not once but twice this month. Things could get worse.

    Still a feeble excuse?

    Our excuse for not getting the Karl Rove with mullet stencil done is that we’ve become obsessed with writing really long, mostly nonsensical comment streams on the blog and have less interest in actually stenciling or writing new posts. Why write new posts when you coast on the old posts? Visions of digressions on digressions on digressions hidden in the comments below posts. Come on if throwing together 300 words for a post is easy it’s even easier to throw together 300 words for a comment that is mostly excuses.

    bl

  10. pfmagic Says:

    It was a challenge, but I think your excuses fell far short of being unbelievable yet entertaining.

    Maybe you should have tried this one:
    All of our x-acto blades are now dull and covered with weasel toejam. We purchased what we thought was a sufficient quantity but were then attacked by hordes of rampaging weasels who demanded pedicures. They threatened to disembowel us using their ragged, untrimmed nails. Our only recourse was to perform hundreds of pedicures using our precious x-acto blades. Fortunately we were able to complete the pedicures and the now-calm weasels allowed us to depart still embowelled (sic). Sadly, one of our interns was torn to shreds by the weasels when the x-acto knife in his sweat-slicked hand slipped and sliced off the nose of the matriarch of this weasel posse. This intern was a bit overweight, balding and had multiple chins – he put up a strong resistance and was able to take out a few of his attackers, but in vain. His lifeless corpse, half buried under dull x-acto blades, weasel nails, and a few dead weasels bore a strong resemblance to a mulletted Karl Rove.

    Now we cannot think of mullets or Karl Rove without being being reminded of poor George Cheney.

  11. boldlentil Says:

    Vanna I’d like to buy an embowelled!

    OK my feeble excuses have been revealed to be quite feeble – weasels I ask you? Inspired…

    bl

  12. pfmagic Says:

    Here’s another:

    Unfortunately, the stencil maker (stenciller? stencil artist?, stencil master?) at the Bold Lentil had to go into hiding. We thought it would be funny to create a stencil of Karl Rove as a Martian ala Mars Attacks. In the days following the posting of this stencil our stencil creator (from here on we will refer to this person as Dr. Stencil to protect his/her/its identity) was involved in a series of bizarre, seemingly random, incidents. In retrospect we realize that these were not random – the Martians were watching us and testing our defenses. The Martians remained in the background until our stencil of David Lesar was posted at which time they went on the offensive.

    Fortunately, Dr. Stencil was away from home when the Martians attacked and we were able to get him into protective custody with the Strategic Hazard Interplanetary, Espionage Logistics Directorate. Unfortunately, Dr. Stencil’s home was destroyed along with all of his/her/its x-acto knives.

    S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were able to determine that David Lesar is not just the CEO of Halliburton – he is the evil head of an interplanetary evil cabal bent on wiping out stencillers and x-acto knives. We may have to go into hiding after posting this comment.

  13. boldlentil Says:

    Ah yes it always brings a smile out of hiding when an excuse-filled comment thread comes back to the post topic – as I speak the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have thrown me into the back of a pick up truck and a mess of Hallibrton contractors are in hot pursuit. Once again I’ve had to leave all of my stenciling supplies behind where they have just been consumed in a spectacular… wait my wireless connection is cutting ou

  14. pfmagic Says:

    You fool!You outed yourself! Now the agents of L.A.S.E.R. (Lesar’s Anti-Stencil Enforcement Rogues) know who Dr. Stencil is.RUN!

  15. pfmagic Says:

    MULLETTY MULLETTY MULLET

  16. pfmagic Says:

    MULLETTY MULLETISH MULLETESQUE MULLETTABLE MULLET

  17. pfmagic Says:

    Nice!

  18. pfmagic Says:

    Scary!

  19. pfmagic Says:

    Creepy!

  20. boldlentil Says:

    Har.

    Nice use of color – glowing eyes and all.

    Also glad you found the KRwM stencil to be bother scary and creepy.

    And with at least an initial KRwM completed it does make for a potential period of introspection – what will be the next thing to make excuses for not having yet done? Is the mullet part of the stencil good enough or should a second version be put together? Or maybe get back to python coding?

  21. pfmagic Says:

    …or maybe a python with a mullet?
    …Karl with a python?
    …a python with KRwM shaped spots?
    …KRwM with a python tattoo?

  22. boldlentil Says:

    Peculiar suggestions.

    (begin yoda voice)good, they are, yes (end yoda voice)

    Once the stencil is done, the fun has just begun.

    Spotted pythons. possibly

    Tattoos on parade. maybe

    But really I’m aching to get my political humor cloud programming python thingy done…


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